I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
