i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
