The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
Did you just see the Batmobile???
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
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