so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
