i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
