This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
Randomize
