Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
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