I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
He better not be in your backpack
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
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