i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
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