you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
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