i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
