i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
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