i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize