but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Randomize
