I smell stomach acid.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
