I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize
