I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
