Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
