Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
So much Jack, so little girl.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
