margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
