You're so nebulous sometimes
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
be right there i have to get my cape
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
