ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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