in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
Randomize
