walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
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