Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Randomize
