Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
