how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Maybe he injected his testicle?
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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