just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize
