i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
