Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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