On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Randomize
