Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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