I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
