You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
Pants 0. Shit 1.
Acid is not a monday night drug
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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