I hate your face
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize