No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
Randomize
