your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
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