I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
i would punch a child for taco bell
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize