he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Randomize