i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Randomize
