I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
