Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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