Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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