did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
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