I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
You are a genius and a whore.
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
Randomize
