I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Randomize
