And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
