So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
Randomize
