You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Randomize
