tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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