i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize