You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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