i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
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