I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
Randomize
