guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
