yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Randomize
