my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
Who wears a wallet chain?!
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
this will be a night to untag.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Randomize
