I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
