Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
Farmville is her only friend.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
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