I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Randomize
