the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Randomize
