I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
Randomize
