And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Randomize
