Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize
