Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
