she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
