Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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