i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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