i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize